Grief and Endings in Unnamed Power Exchanges: Processing Kink Grief

with Sarai311

a live and recorded class from Wicked Grounds

12/10 6pm Pacific

You're grieving a dynamic that never had a precise name. And you have no idea what to do with that.

There's no social script for ending a kink dynamic, especially one that was never officially titled. No ceremony. No way to explain to your friends why you're wrecked over something they didn't even know existed. The loss is real, but the world around you doesn't have a place to put it. That's called disenfranchised grief, and it is one of the least-addressed emotional experiences in kink.

This class creates the container that the ending didn't. You don't need the other person to be here. You just need space to finally put it down.

IN THIS CLASS YOU WILL:

• Learn about disenfranchised grief, the formal name for grief that doesn't get socially recognized, and why kink endings land here so often

• Understand ambiguous loss and what it means to grieve something that never officially existed

• Write toward what was felt, what was never said, and what's still sitting in your body

• Use rituals of release to mark the ending without needing the other person to acknowledge it

• Reclaim language for what you experienced so you can hold it with honesty instead of confusion

• Leave the room lighter than you arrived, messy and tender is fine, you don't have to be ready

The grief is real whether or not anyone else has words for it. This class gives you some.

PRESENTER:

Sarai311 (any/all) is a BIPOC kink educator, poet, and event organizer with a decade of combined experience across classroom and community learning spaces. She brings eight years of formal teaching experience and three years of active kink engagement into her workshops, merging curriculum design, emotionally grounded facilitation, and embodied pedagogy with lived experience.

She is currently a doctoral candidate, where her research explores identity development, emotional labor, and culturally relevant pedagogy, work that directly informs her approach to kink education. Her classes are rooted in emotional precision, cultural nuance, and reflective practice, offering participants tools for both intentional play and personal clarity.

Within the kink community, she has served as a Dungeon Monitor, demo bottom, and board member for Whippersnappers TNG, where she led DEIA initiatives and helped transition the organization into an LLC. She is also the founder and lead organizer of BIPOC at Frolicon, a collective centering Black and Brown voices through curated education, events, and community restoration.

Sarai311 teaches across the Southeast, offering kink foundations, emotionally strategic intensives, and BIPOC-centered learning spaces. Her work has been featured at Frolicon, Southeast Leatherfest, and Dark Odyssey, and she has been published thrice in Black Leather in Color Magazine. She is the author of "What We Could Never Be", an erotic poetry collection rooted in BDSM, grief, and healing, and "Unholy Attachments", an ongoing erotic short story series exploring desire, power, and emotional entanglement through queer, plus-size Black femme bodies.

Known for her emotional precision, cultural intentionality, and grounded presence, Sarai311 creates spaces where kink, identity, and self-exploration can safely and fully coexist, especially for those living at the intersections of complexity, care, and clarity.

ACCESS:

This will be a live, online class offered through Zoom. To participate, you may need to download the free, basic version of the Zoom app before the class! This class will be recorded for distribution to advance ticket holders.

Zoom now provides closed captioning, which will be available for this event.