Bonobo Network Presents Kiss and Tell: A Sexy Second BASS Party

  • Hosted by Bonobo Network
  • Oakland, CA - address sent to ticket holders
  • 342 people on the list

A Sexy Second Bass Party

They say that dance is the vertical expression of horizontal desires. Guess we'll find out just how true that is.

At Kiss and Tell, your expressions of desire may need to stay clothed – barely – but they don't have to stay vertical. Take a break from dancing on our 1500 sq. foot dance floor to sensuously snuggle with lovers old and new.

Just remember that the party has "second base" limits on intimacy, which means tops can come off but genitals need to stay covered. We'll get you all worked up with a bevy of sensual explorations, BDSM demonstrations, and sexy games – but you'll have to take the party home to go any further.

To make sure everyone feels safe enough to play at their edges, we don't allow any physical touch without clear consent. If you can't play by the rules, you may be asked to leave the party -- and that's no fun!

This is an alcohol-free event. We encourage you to limit intoxication so you can stay tuned in to the needs, boundaries – and desires – of your fellow guests.

KISS & TELL will take place Saturday, December 2, 2023 at 7pm.

Unlike our full play parites, tickets are available to non-Bonobo members for this event.

If you are interested in joining Bonobo you can learn more about us at and apply at

By joining you'll get acces to all of our play parties and members only community events.

Please be sure to read ALL details below.

Your Eventbrite FINAL DETAILS email will contain ALL relevant details for attending this event TO ARRIVE THE DAY BEFORE THE EVENT. Check your email - including your spam folder - for a message from Please read this email in full and instruct any guests for whom you may have purchased tickets to do the same!

»»» Details

7pm Doors Open

7:30pm Workshop TBA

9:15pm Opening Circle [NOTE: No entry after opening circle without permission from hosts. Email if you think you may need to join late.]

Closing circle at 2:30am

Important! If you're purchasing more than one ticket, please make sure each individual attending is named!

Once you purchase your ticket, your Eventbrite confirmation email will contain all relevant details for attending this event. Check your email - including your spam folder - for a message from Please read this email in full and instruct any guests for whom you may have purchased tickets to do the same!

»»» Entertainment


7:30pm : Contact Improvisation: Intimacy in Motion with Merrick

What would it be like to feel intimately connected to each other through movement? In this guided, all-levels contact improvisation workshop, we will co-create movement conversations in partners, trios, and with the collective to foster deep listening and conversation through the whole body. The journey will progress with care to build our relational intelligence layer by layer, entering into our innate preverbal ways of simply being together - let's dance!

About Merrick

Merrick Jacob (she/her) is a lover of movement, continuously in awe of the body and its potential for unique expression, creativity, & authentic connection. Influenced by her practices of figure skating, acroyoga, hand-balancing, and contact improvisation, she guides playful movement experiences as an opportunity for deep listening, exploration, and co-creation. She is a certified acroyoga instructor with AcroRevolution & AcroYoga Montréal. Merrick studied a variety of somatic movement therapy modalities with Dynamic Embodiment & The Moving On Center: School of Participatory Arts & Somatic Research, focusing on BodyMind Centering & Laban Movement Analysis. For more contact improvisation with Merrick, she hosts every 2nd & 4th Wednesday evening at The Center SF. She’s also the co-producer of The Somatic Playground. Say hi to her here:

Music by:

  • dirtyplates
  • AND A SURPRISE SPECIAL GUEST whose beats will make you purr with delight!

»»» Registration + Tickets

Tickets will be on a sliding scale starting at $37 for PrimeMates, our premium members.

Tickets for our standard members & non members will be on a sliding scale starting at $50.

If you need a reduced cost ticket due to financial hardship, please email to make a request.

Who should use the NOTAFLOF policy? Examples are those who are supporting children or other dependents alone, have significant debt, have medical expenses not covered by insurance, receive public assistance (such as unemployment payments), have immigration-related expenses, are an elder with limited financial support, are an unpaid community organizer, or don't have an entertainment budget otherwise.

»»» Covid Policy

Bring your vaccination card, which will be checked at the door. You need a full series plus at least one booster to attend.

Your COVID testing options are:

• Present a timestamped photo of a covid rapid antigen test taken the day of the event at the door.

• Present the results of a PCR test administered within 48 hours of the party.

• Bring your own COVID test to take on site. If you use this option, please wear a mask into the venue. There will be a limited supply of rapid tests available for purchase - PLEASE BRING YOUR OWN.

»»» Volunteering

Volunteering is a great way to meet other Bonobos, and volunteer tickets have discounts baked into them as a thank you for your contribution. Available roles include:


Setup (Saturday 5pm - 7pm Pre-party) [$30 ticket]

During Party

Food Set-Up (90 minutes at the beginning of the party) [$30 ticket]

Greeting (90 minute shifts before and during party) [$40 ticket]

Covid Testing Support ( 90 minute shifts before and during party) [$40 ticket]

Angel Crew (60 minute shifts during party) [$40 ticket]

Cleaning (60 minute shifts during party) [$40 ticket]


Strike (Sunday 11am - 1pm Post-Party) [$20 ticket]

Lost & Found (up to 1 month post party) [FREE ticket]

»»» Inviting your friends

Want to invite a friend to this or future parties? Great! Bonobo Network membership is NOT required to attend Kiss And Tell. If they'd like to become a Bonobo member, you can invite them to learn more about us and apply at

  • Your friends should FULLY understand Bonobo Network's culture, especially around consent.
  • They should be broadly familiar with their boundaries and be able to set boundaries with others.
  • They should be able to resolve conflicts gracefully, generously, and empathetically.
  • They're someone you trust to be accountable to you and to this community.
  • Ideally, you trust them implicitly, and you would either play with them yourself or recommend that your friends play with them at the party.
  • You would feel comfortable staking your reputation on their being a good fit for our community. (NOTE: This is different from feeling confident that they would enjoy themselves or get something out of the experience.)

»»» Incident Reporting

If your boundaries are crossed at the party, if an attendee acts in ways that are not in accordance with our culture and values, or even if someone just kinda creeps you out, please report the incident to an angel or party host. We also encourage you to file an incident report online at

Incident reports aren't just for consent violations at Bonobo events. If people are behaving in the ways described above outside of parties, it can be helpful for organizers to know.

»»» Bonobo Network Principles

What began as a series of small parties in Summer 2010 has grown into a community that has served thousands of people around the Bay Area and the world. Our community is united by the following principles, which inform how we orient towards the spaces we share and how we treat one another:

High Possibility, Low Expectation: Our communities are best when they're treated as high possibility, low expectation spaces. That means two things: first, that all kinds of awesome sexy interactions are possible, but that no one should be expected to interact with you in any particular way. No one owes you anything. Second, we often attend these events with an expectation of the type or quality of experience we should have. While anything is possible, you'll probably have a much better experience if you lose those expectations of yourself and open yourself up to the abundance of connection of all kinds available to you at the party. Low expectation DOES NOT mean "low desire" – we believe it's helpful to have a well-explored and articulated sense of what you want and to hold those desires lightly.

Trust and Integrity: Parties like ours are built on trust – that's what allows us to be as open and welcoming and vulnerable as we can be inside those spaces. But this requires that we all show up in full integrity, pledging to be our most trustworthy. Three important implications of this : keep the identities of folks at our events confidential, proactively disclose relevant safer sex risks, and take exquisite care of the venues, spaces, and neighborhood ecosystems that host us.

Consent: We agree that we will only physically engage with one another, including nonsexual touch, where there is CLEAR CONSENT. We define consent as an ongoing collaboration between two or more people in constant verbal, physical, and emotional dialogue about what each other needs to safely, willingly, and pleasurably interact with one another. Gold standard consent in Bonobo Network is affirmative, informed, unpressured, specific, competently given, and ongoing. Respecting and valuing consent isn't just about preventing violations that shred trust -- it's also about making sure that everyone has as much space as they need to fully occupy their yes. Please read our Consent and Accountability Policy ( for more details on how we approach consent and accountability.

High Challenge, High Support: Play parties can be challenging and emotionally complex, even for seasoned veterans. We’re committed to making the play parties we throw high challenge, high support environments. We come together to celebrate and play at our edges. To fully support that endeavor, we provide a dedicated nonsexual space at each party for folks who need to get away from the intensity of the gathering. It means recruiting a team of angels who are available to provide counseling and social support throughout the party. And it means encouraging everyone who attends to commit to being an angel for everyone around them.

H ere's a guide to have a pre-party conversation with your sweetie(s) to make your party go smoothly for both of you:

Everyone Contributes: Parties like this are never the work of a single organizer -- it takes the participation and contribution of a host of people. Everyone who attends is expected to co-create the party: money, time, energy, enthusiasm, work, intention, example, concern and/or awareness.

Inclusion: We are dedicated to fostering inclusion in our community. No matter your race, ethnicity, gender identity, or class background, we want everyone who participates in this community to understand that they belong here, and that they have as much of a stake in what happens here as anyone else does. While we recognize that everyone is on a learning curve when it comes to learning how to foster such an atmosphere, we also commit to a stance of learning -- and supporting one another's learning -- of how to be excellent to one another.

This is a dynamic list, ever growing, changing, and deepening as this grand experiment in connection continues. Thanks to you all for playing mad scientist with us.

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