Sunday, August 16, 202612PM - 8PMPrivate Oakland Residence - address released to ticket holders
Join us for an afternoon of sacred mischief, radical consent, and unapologetic pleasure… a poolside temple built for the queer, the curious, and the gloriously unholy.
We are finalizing the details, but expect that our sacraments will include a consent workshop (learn your yes and nos), the laying on of hands (sensual massage), and communion at the dessert bar. We'll have DJs spinning up sinfully delicious beats that you won't be expected to resist.IMPORTANT: Your Ketchup confirmation email will include the details you need to attend this event. Check your SMS and email confirmation message. To log in and view your ticket confirmation, click here.
Please read this email in full and instruct any guests for whom you may have purchased tickets to do the same!
Queergasm is our ongoing party for queer folks. It's only open to queer people. That's because we want to create a space where queerness is not just welcomed or tolerated, but centered and celebrated.
For our purposes, if you identify as queer, this party is for you. No one will be checking your queer card. You are queer enough. If you are questioning or exploring if you might be queer or fall somewhere under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are welcome to attend Queergasm as you explore if you might identify as queer.
This party is for people with all levels of experience, from the merely curious or questioning to the most experienced swingers; from the decidedly monogamous to the most committed polyamorists. Under the umbrella of queerness, we welcome people representing every sexual preference, gender expression, and body type. None of us are getting free until we all get free.
Chris Logan (he/him) is a relationship coach, community organizer and lifelong overthinker who has spent most of his life helping people feel less alone in life's circumstances. He's queer, spiritually restless, and thriving on his way to living his best life. You can find out more at livingtender.coach/
Andrea (she/they) is a Colombiana who’s been in the bay for nearly 15 years now. A lot of her community organizing has centered on restorative justice, community empowerment and building intentional communities- including multiple cooperatives. They’re particularly excited to build spaces that are community led and foster intersectionality.
12:00 PM - 1:30 PM
[NOTE: No entry after opening circle without permission from hosts. Email info@bonobonetwork.com if you think you may need to join late.]
12:15 PM - 1:15 PM
1:30 PM - 2:00 PM
[NOTE: No entry after opening circle without permission from hosts. Email info@bonobonetwork.com if you think you may need to join late.]
2:00PM - 4:00PM
4:00PM - 6:00PM
6:00PM - 7:00PM
7:30PM - 8:00PM
Closing Circle is a time for us to share our experience, ecstatic or hard, to be seen, known, and normalize that these events are a full spectrum experience for everyone.
We’re still putting the final touches on this event’s playshop. Whether it’s a sensual icebreaker, a guided experience, or a spark to ignite your curiosity, it’s designed to help you drop in, warm up, and get inspired for the night ahead.Stay tuned—details coming soon
Need a peaceful place to rest your soul?The Sanctuary Lounge is a quiet haven for reflection, connection, and comfort. Sink into plush beds surrounded by soft blankets, cozy pillows, and a touch of heavenly sparkle while you take a break from the festivities.This is a sacred non-play space, please save all sexual activity for the designated play areas. Whether you're sharing aftercare, having a heartfelt conversation, making a new friend, or simply taking a moment to recharge, the Sanctuary Lounge offers a peaceful retreat from the excitement.Take a moment to breathe, rest, and restore. Even the most devoted disciples deserve a little sanctuary. ✨
Experience the blessing of many hands as fellow attendees come together to create a relaxing, collaborative consent-focused massage experience. A chance to share care, connection, and a little divine relaxation. Everyone will negotiate boundaries beforehand, and participation is always optional—you choose how you wish to engage.
Gather with your fellow congregants for the sweetest sacrament of the day. Break bread... or cheesecake, cookies, brownies, and other heavenly delights. Whether you're indulging in a favorite treat or discovering a new temptation, all are welcome at the Dessert Bar.
Confess your desires... and receive your penance with a kiss. Step into the Confession Booth, share a playful confession, and, with enthusiastic consent, exchange a kiss with a willing participant. Whether it's a peck on the cheek, a kiss on the lips, or simply a blessing from afar, every confession is honored and every "no" is sacred.
We’re curating the perfect soundtrack for the night—expect a lineup that will keep your body moving, your energy high, and the vibes just right.Stay tuned for the full lineup—trust us, you’ll want to be on the dance floor for this one. 🎶🔥
Want to see who's going, match, chat, and meet the community? Check out the event on Plura Community
Join us at the Queergasm Meetup on 8/12 or the Bonobo Meetup on 8/4. Meetups are a fantastic way to get to know each other with our clothes on and in a low-pressure environment. You're welcome to bring friends and lovers who've never been to a Bonobo event but who may be interested!
The entire outdoor area is accessible, with a ramp leading to the pool area at the back, ensuring easy entry for individuals with mobility aids. Additionally, there are accessible bathrooms and showers near the pool. However, the house itself is not accessible; the front entrance requires navigating four stairs, and the back entrance has two stairs, with no ramps or alternative accessible entry points. While the outdoor amenities cater to accessibility needs, guests requiring such accommodations should plan activities around the accessible outdoor facilities. For further assistance or specific accessibility inquiries, please contact us.
Volunteering is a great way to meet other Bonobos, and volunteer tickets have discounts baked into them as a thank you for your contribution. Available roles include:
We’re excited to announce that Queergasm is using the PAL system, which will allow more queer folks to get a taste of our community.PAL stands for Pervy Activity Liaison (thanks to Polly Superstar of Kinky Salon and Mission Control for the term.) A PAL is a trusted friend (doesn’t have to be a date) who attends an event with you. PALs are responsible for each others’ behavior – if someone behaves in a way that negatively impacts the space, it reflects poorly on all of the PALs. And if we ask someone to leave an event for any reason, their PALs must exit as well. In this way, it not only ensures that people who are new to the community have a social anchor, it also ensures that everyone feels accountable to someone, which tends to encourage great behavior.
Who Needs a PAL for Queergasm?
PAL Frequently Asked Questions
Want to invite a friend to a future Bonobo party? Great! They'll need to become a member for Bonobo Mainline Parties. Invite them to learn more about us and apply at bonobonetwork.com/apply
If you know someone really well, you can let us know that by endorsing their application. The standard for endorsement is high, as is the bar for membership. Your friends should FULLY understand Bonobo Network's culture, especially around consent.
Who we're looking for:
***NOTAFLOF Tickets - Action Required (see below)
As we continue to grow and create memorable experiences together, we want to share some important updates regarding the way we manage tickets for our events. Thank you for your feedback about access to tickets and creating ease around ticket transfers. We hope these changes provide a lot better user experience. We are also providing clearer guidelines about use of NOTOFLOF codes and a new request system for those who use those codes.Supporting Our Community: No One Turned Away for Lack Of Funds (NOTAFLOF) Changes
We will be changing the NOTAFLOF codes for each party. Please use this the form below before the event to request a NOTAFLOF discount code. You can then apply this code on the day of the ticket drop.
REQUEST A NOTAFLOF DISCOUNT CODE HERE
We are committed to inclusivity and accessibility. Our tiered ticket pricing remains in place to support those with financial hardship while allowing those with greater means to contribute more, pick the tier you need. This helps us uphold our No One Turned Away For Lack Of Funds (NOTAFLOF) policy. We would like to offer some examples of what code to use based on need.
Ticket transfers: You can transfer your own tickets now! View your ticket in Ketchup. Click the menu button (three dots) and click transfer ticket. Copy link and send it to the person you are transferring your ticket too. If you have any issues please email info@bonobonetwork.com with the new ticket holder first and last name, email address and phone number.
Thank you for being a part of our community and for your understanding as we experiment and implement these changes.
If you need to take a covid test onsite, you must wear a mask.
If your boundaries are crossed at the party, if a Bonobo member acts in ways that are not in accordance with our culture and values, or even if someone just kinda creeps you out, please report the incident to an angel or party host. We also encourage you to file an incident report online at http://bit.ly/bonoboincidentreport.
Incident reports aren't just for consent violations at Bonobo events. If people are behaving in the ways described above outside of parties, it can be helpful for organizers to know.
What began as a series of small parties in Summer 2010 has grown into a community that has served 3,000 people around the Bay Area and the world. Our community is united by the following principles, which inform how we orient towards the spaces we share and how we treat one another:
Our communities are best when they're treated as high possibility, low expectation spaces. That means two things: first, that all kinds of awesome sexy interactions are possible, but that no one should be expected to interact with you in any particular way. No one owes you anything. Second, we often attend these events with an expectation of the type or quality of experience we should have. While anything is possible, you'll probably have a much better experience if you lose those expectations of yourself and open yourself up to the abundance of connection of all kinds available to you at the party. Low expectation DOES NOT mean "low desire" – we believe it's helpful to have a well-explored and articulated sense of what you want and to hold those desires lightly.
Parties like ours are built on trust – that's what allows us to be as open and welcoming and vulnerable as we can be inside those spaces. But this requires that we all show up in full integrity, pledging to be our most trustworthy. Three important implications of this : keep the identities of folks at our events confidential, proactively disclose relevant safer sex risks, and take exquisite care of the venues, spaces, and neighborhood ecosystems that host us.
We agree that we will only physically engage with one another, including nonsexual touch, where there is CLEAR CONSENT. We define consent as an ongoing collaboration between two or more people in constant verbal, physical, and emotional dialogue about what each other needs to safely, willingly, and pleasurably interact with one another. Gold standard consent in Bonobo Network is affirmative, informed, unpressured, specific, competently given, and ongoing. Respecting and valuing consent isn't just about preventing violations that shred trust -- it's also about making sure that everyone has as much space as they need to fully occupy their yes. Please read our Consent and Accountability Policy (bit.ly/bonoboconsentpolicy) for more details on how we approach consent and accountability.
Play parties can be challenging and emotionally complex, even for seasoned veterans. We’re committed to making the play parties we throw high challenge, high support environments. We come together to celebrate and play at our edges. To fully support that endeavor, we provide a dedicated nonsexual space at each party for folks who need to get away from the intensity of the gathering. It means recruiting a team of angels who are available to provide counseling and social support throughout the party. And it means encouraging everyone who attends to commit to being an angel for everyone around them.
Here's a guide to have a pre-party conversation with your sweetie(s) to make your party go smoothly for both of you: bit.ly/beingpartyready
Parties like this are never the work of a single organizer -- it takes the participation and contribution of a host of people. Everyone who attends is expected to co-create the party: money, time, energy, enthusiasm, work, intention, example, concern and/or awareness.
We are dedicated to fostering inclusion in our community. No matter your race, ethnicity, gender identity, or class background, we want everyone who participates in this community to understand that they belong here, and that they have as much of a stake in what happens here as anyone else does. While we recognize that everyone is on a learning curve when it comes to learning how to foster such an atmosphere, we also commit to a stance of learning -- and supporting one another's learning -- of how to be excellent to one another.
This is a dynamic list, ever growing, changing, and deepening as this grand experiment in connection continues. Thanks to you all for playing mad scientist with us.